Microsoft Outlook Is the Worst Social Media Platform in the World
All professionals know this to be true
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Elon Musk is buying Twitter for the cost of roughly 2 billion boxes of Twinkies. And with that news, we seem to have forgotten about the other social media behemoth whose heft casts a $168 billion shadow over Twitter:
Microsoft.
Specifically, Microsoft Outlook… the worst, most vile, toxic social media platform in Internetland.
We’re on that social space every single day. Feeding it, being fed by it, sending CC’d messages (that should’ve been BCC’d) to thousands of unsuspecting bosses and colleagues ad nauseam.
And what do we have to show for it? How much psychological safety have we given up by being Outlook Sheep day in and day out? I’m not sure the world will ever know, but the problem is only getting worse.
“All my best…”
“Thanks in advance…”
“Can we circle back about this…”
All the other social giants have had their reckoning for the great strains they put on human beings — especially children — creating issues with “anxiety, depression, and physical ailments.”
But not Microsoft Outlook. It sits there in its ivory tower, destroying democracy and workplaces from the inside out — especially those sociopaths who sign their emails “Warmly.”
Who does that?
Besides Susan. Susan is weird as heck.
We think we’re safe because the Outlook mobile app looks so clean, unassuming, and blue. But that soft blue is nothing but a Trojan horse, because even though “blue lowers blood pressure, thus, slows down heart rate, because of which a body becomes relaxed,” Bill Gates only selected it to lower our defenses.
And I have proof.
“Microsoft Outlook” is an anagram for “lookout, cosmo rift,” and that was Gates’ plan all along. To create a giant rift in the cosmos that is the social media space. And he has been doing it for 32 years, right under our unassuming noses.
Protect yourselves, fellow professionals, because we’re all in this together.
H/t to Tom Kuegler for the inspiration, ironically piqued by a Tweet.
