I Discovered the Secret to Reaching 5,000 Followers

A step-by-step guide to growing your list

Image: Noble Mitchell/Unsplash

It can be difficult to know what path to take when growing your online community. It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, MySpace, LiveJournal, PetSmart.com, or right here on Medium dot com.

Irrespective of the online network you’re trying to reach, many “writers” claim to know the steps necessary to cultivate a larger network.

I am here to tell you one thing:

Nobody knows the secret.

Nobody includes me, of course. Because I am somebody and, as such, am nobody.

So what is the takeaway?

As a somebody-nobody, I have no idea how to grow an online follower list.

But I can share a transcript from the President’s motivational speech from the sixth episode of Rick & Morty’s fifth season — Thanksploitation Spectacular.

Here you go. And you’re welcome.

Now, look, I know it’s gonna take more than some speech.

But what is a speech? Isn’t it just a question?

And isn’t that a question too?

Speeches are words. Repeated words. Listed words.

Repeated lists of repeated words.

None of that matters. You know what does matter?

Me.

Asking you.

“Will you do what I say?”