Member-only story
I Disagreed With Hogan Torah on MySpace
No, I did NOT collect troll dolls when I was in high school
You need to understand something about the Internet — you use a capital “I” when referring to it.
The Internet was actually invented in 2074, the same year as time travel. A raucous group of rabble-rousers went back in time to 1886 when the first sip of Coca-Cola was enjoyed at Jacobs’ Pharmacy in Atlanta, Georgia.
They intended to witness the experience and post about it on LiveJournal — in an alternate timeline, LiveJournal is still around in the mid-2070s.
Unfortunately, they only had enough quantum juice for a one-way trip. When they arrived in 1886, they messed up the timeline, and the Internet was created much earlier.
As such, LiveJournal came and went too quickly, forcing the rise of other social networks like E-harmony, PetSmart.com, and MySpace.
That’s where Hogan Torah comes into the frame.
Google his name
You need to understand something about Hogan Torah. He thinks he’s hilarious and profound and witty. He also thinks Google “auto-fills” his name.
Sadly, all of this is true.
