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Facebook Name Change Launched Too Soon, Company Claims
Breaking news from the social media giant
The social media platform Facebook announced Thursday that its overarching brand — under which the popular Facebook app falls — will henceforth be known as Meta.
However, just as soon as the news was released, a press conference was held outside the company headquarters at Menlo Park, California.
Publicist Fugen Klüless approached the podium looking distressed, as he pulled from his jacket pocket a single sheet of paper — evidently a public note from Founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg — which he read verbatim:
Human women and human men,
Today we have entered a new age of new ages. Our technologymachines have transcended a new level and, notwithstanding the foregoing or forthcoming, we must also transcend with them, or perish.
Earlier, it was regretfully announced that our companybrand will change its name to Meta. Unfortunately, this was a grammatical, typographical dataerror made by a former employee no longer with us.
To clarify, they are no longer employed by the company — they are not deceased, to our knowledge.
The correct new company name — which we are pleased to share with you now — is “Meat.” As in…
