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7 Reasons on a Monday Why Counting Things in Even Numbers Is Best on Weekends
And other simple advice for the highly disheveled
Look, I get it. Life is all sorts of fuchtup.
You’re sitting in your car at the stoplight just trying to keep your shit together. Child #2 just threw up her smashed peas on Child #1s new sneakers, which caused a chain reaction of Child #1s favorite toy being hurled forward into a nice new crack on the windshield.
Praise be.
You thought today was going to be pretty decent, too. You got a full, uninterrupted three hours of sleep last night. This morning’s bathroom time was moderately successful. And not a single relative on Facebook posted anything about inhaling a household aerosol to cure the coronavirus.
But we really don’t get away with such frivolities as life without chaos, do we? We get reverse peas on the car floor and a $1,000 windshield repair bill.
There is hope, though, and I’ve cobbled it together in this helpful, even-numbered list of seven things you can do to keep your cool.
One
Just like that little white Buddhist kid in The Matrix, remember: There is no spoon. And if there is no spoon, there are no peas. And if there are no peas, there is…
